Pristine Kiwi - A Post-Apocalypse Supersafe Holiday Club
Magna Kiwi1. Pristine Kiwi is a loose community of professional amateurs who try to make the best of what remains of their shattered lives in once glorious nation state of Chernarus;
2. Membership is currently invite only (please refer to the Membership Appendix for details);
3. There is no strict moral agenda, ie any non-member (hereinafter referred to as a Richard) is a valid target for utlra violence, however:
a. hate speech (including but not limited to: racism, sexism, nationalism, ableism and ageism), proselytizing, practice of the dark arts, belief in politicians, too much love for sports, unironic attitude towards conspiracy theories, unironic use of hashtags or playing to win constitutes sufficient grounds for excommunication;
b. use of third party software to gain edge over other players or "hacking" in any other manner or the use of the in-game bugs and exploits to gain the said advantage constitutes sufficient grounds for excommunication;
c. intentional murder of club members constitutes sufficient grounds for excommunication. Repeated friendly fire incidents will be investigated with the final judgement on the matter residing in the hands of the slain member. All conflicts between the club members that cannot be resolved through verbal means, shall be resolved through a Hollywood style quick-draw gunslinger duels (please refer to the Duel Appendix for details);
4. Every member is entitled to request backup in an event of finding themselves surrounded or outnumbered by hostile Richards or when discovering a hostile Richard in possession of a particularly rare item. When a backup request is issued (please refer to the Backup Request Appendix for details) all available members are obliged to spawn into the server and provide support as needed;
5. If one of the members discovers a pristine kiwi, it must be brought to the member currently serving as the The Mother Of Kiwi. If The Mother Of Kiwi is already in possession of a pristine kiwi, it must be offered to another member as a token of friendship. The recipient shall proceed to consume the pristine kiwi immediately with great appreciation. A pristine kiwi is the most valuable item we can offer each other. Rejecting an offer of pristine kiwi constitutes sufficient grounds for a duel. If the member who discovered a pristine kiwi is found to have consumed it themselves, they will be shot on sight and excommunicated.
6. The Mother Of Kiwi is a temporary and rotating position of great honour. This post is assigned by The Shadow Council Of Kiwi. While serving as the The Mother Of Kiwi, that member will only be referred to as Mother, relinquishing all other in-world or out-world cognomens or appellatives. Mother must always carry a pristine kiwi and protect it with their life. Other members must always protect Mother. If Mother dies next to you while you're still breathing, it is as if you had failed a thousand times. Sacrificing your life for Mother is a great honour. If Mother loses their pristine kiwi through a non-fatal accident, they immediately lose their position and shall never be The Mother Of Kiwi again. One cannot decline when offered the position of The Mother Of Kiwi;
7. We do not speak of The Shadow Council Of Kiwi;
8. In order to distinguish ourselves from the Richards of this world, we shall follow the Pristine Kiwi Dress Code of no military attire. Military attire shall be defined as:
a. any items of clothing with a camouflage pattern;
b. any tactical vests;
c. any ballistic helmets;
d. any military style boots (combat, jungle, etc.);
9. We aspire to be excellent to each other under all circumstances and at all times;
10. The contents of Manga Kiwi may be changed without any notice by the The Shadow Council Of Kiwi as The Council sees fit;
11. We do not speak of The Shadow Council Of Kiwi.
Membership AppendixMembership, as stated above, is currently invite only but as with all great things in life, there are other ways in. If you have seen the archives of the Pristine Kiwi adventures and feel like our ideological Venn diagrams overlap to a considerable degree and that we would enjoy each other's company, we will consider your candidacy. In order to do so, we will need a motivational letter (send one to slowbreakfast[that email sign]gmail[that punctuation mark]com) where you will tell us why you would like to join the Pristine Kiwis and why do you think we should accept you. You can do this in as many words as you like. If you clear this stage, you will reach the second, secret, stage of recruitment and receive further instructions.
Please take into consideration that you must be at least 18 years of age to become a Kiwi. If you do not receive a reply, it's probably because you were rejected for an undisclosed reason. Keep heart. You're more than welcome to re-apply after three months. However, if you receive no reply after the secret stage, your future applications will no longer be considered.
Please also keep in mind that your in-game skill level takes a backseat to your personality. A cool freshpawn bambi has a higher chance of getting through the eye of the needle than a square survivalist with 1000+ hours clocked in.
Duel AppendixAs the name suggests, a Kiwi duel is strictly an affair between two individuals who have either come to a verbal impasse or would like to kill one another for any other reason, including but not limited to fun. Please keep in mind that the Kiwi duel is the only legitimate circumstance where you can attack a fellow Kiwi. Any other instances will be taken very seriously and are likely to lead to excommunication.
The challenger shall drop a pair of gloves in front of the challenged Kiwi and demand satisfaction. One cannot refuse the challenge to a duel.
The location, determined by the challenger, must be a straight and level segment of a road anywhere in Chernarus. It can be paved or dirt. The time of the day (and if applicable, weather) for the duel will also be determined by the challenger.
The weapons, chosen by the challenged, must be from one of the three options:
1) revolvers (no speed loaders);
2) semi-automatic pistols (no clips, only chambering);
3) any melee weapon.
The weapons must be identical. The duellists will stand from each other no closer than the distance which would render the other less than a 5th of the hight of the screen (when zoomed out). No protective clothing shall be worn during the duel.
At the start of the duel, the weapons of choice shall be holstered and assigned to the quick bar. A designated Kiwi will count down from five and fire a shot. This is when the duellists can draw their weapons and start moving. They can go anywhere they want without leaving the segment of the road and assume any stance. After the initial load has been spent (in case of a firefight) the duellists are free to reload.
The duel is always à l'outrance and deloping is prohibited.
If a duellist leaves the confines of the duel road or breaks the duel rules in any manner, they forfeit the duel and shall submit to the execution by the opponent.
Only one other Kiwi is required to be present at the duel - the one doing the countdown and enforcing the rules. Every other Kiwi at the site will either enjoy the show or provide security. Any physical interference with a duel from third parties is a grave offence and constitutes sufficient grounds for excommunication.
The duellists are free to choose a second. The seconds fulfil only a formal role of taking care of the duellists belongings and providing friendly advice and support. They cannot take the place of the duellist in the fight.
There is no material reward in winning a duel. If the weapons were borrowed, they will be returned to the owners in whatever state they are in. The winner has no claim on the loser's possessions. We are not savages who shed blood for each other's loot. Duels are in place for honour and fun.
With the completion of a duel, the conflict (if there was one) is exhausted.