Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Mainstream Pleasures

So Armored Kill came out and turns out I still got it. My D/K is abysmal when I'm playing in vehicles, as always, but managed to steal a tank from two dudes and then run them over in it and also shot down a aerial screw with a tank shell. Oh yeah. Now, if only I could improve that D/K...

Made no screenshots/footage of the above so I'll leave you with this sexy gif.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Further To Our Conversation

Building on our previous conversation - IN YOUR FACE (on easy difficulty)!!

And then after the giant letters float away, my chariot arrives... to take me to the space credits.

But seriously though, I had this? I had this all this time and I fought all those monsters with handheld weapons? Really? Was I afraid to scratch the paintjob on my ride? Who does that?

Anyway. Intrusion 2 is a pretty cool action platformer in the classic spirit of Metal Slug and some others that most probably exist but I haven't played because platformers aren't really my thing. So that's how good this was. Or rather that's how good the good bits were. Like when the cyborg girl with a giant gun deployed a disco ball in the cave we were fighting in to reflect her laser off of it and kill me. That was pretty cool. You also get to ride a big old wolf at some point. It bites your enemies.

Give it at go here or here. There's also a demo.

Existential Fret

That feeling when you question your hand-eye coordination after failing to defeat a giant robot for two hours in a row on easy difficulty.

Who makes these things anyway?

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Friday, September 7, 2012

Generation Knighthood

When out and about killing people with melee weapons, always take care to select a matching crest. You don't want people thinking that you've got no taste in war.

My crest is kinda cool, too. 

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Super Sad True Love Story

Until recently DEFCON held the super special title of The Most Depressing Game I Have Ever Experienced.
I'm so sorry, Brasilia DF.
And when I say depressing, I don't mean 'badly made' - the race for the first place in that category is very tight indeed. The photo finish is so crowded that you cannot see the finish line. A riot erupts and someone breaks the photo finish camera and punches a baby in the face.

By depressing I mean so well made that it incites a feeling of sadness for the characters or the events of the game. In DEFCON there are no characters as such beyond the raw numbers of casualties and the familiar shapes of continents and the locations of the cities you have been to or have read about. All of the game's violence is in your head when you imagine the number of people you just made disappear - represented by a flash of light above the landscape.

DEFCON casts no moral judgement whatsoever - it is a simulation of nuclear war, pure and mathematical - and that is why it has guts and a soul.

So what could possibly surpass a game where a sobbing woman is part of the unobtrusive soundtrack?

Meet Andrus Poder.

Cart Life by Richard Hofmeier is a "retail simulation" in black and white and I will tell you, my imagined reader, about it in the next entry because I am sleepy now. You disappear into a cloud of non-existence.